We’ve all witnessed the all too familiar scene – small child screaming; throwing everything his/her mother gives to them straight to the floor in sheer defiance; refusing to get into buggy & making wriggling look like an Olympic sport as deflated mum wonders how someone less than half her size is managing to defeat her in this new game of ‘just you try getting me home’. Yes, we’ve all seen it & maybe even unfairly judged the scene thinking it’s probably the fault of the parents – let’s blame the good old lack of discipline. I am willing to hold my hands up and say I have been guilty of this very judgement and so the universe decided to put things straight and in true Karmic fashion that scene today was created by my ‘little angel’ in our local park (beautiful scene above) and I was indeed the deflated mother losing the buggy battle as onlookers tried not to stare in amusement but inevitably did.
Besides the physical and mental strain endured by the tantrum, the other overwhelming emotion I was struck by during this public display of defiance of my one year old was pure & utter embarrassment. This might sound strange to some of you, particularly those who have been through their fair share of tantrums, but I didn’t think I would feel (well not this early anyway) embarrassed by my own son – and I am even embarrassed to admit it! When I did share this feeling with my ever empathetic husband, his reaction was ‘embarrassed by your own son, wow’. His helpful words did wonders to allay my shame, and he had of course forgotten the time he had also felt this very same emotion brought about by his son. Men are good like that.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I thought I would not have to face my fair share of tantrums, but the thing that got to me most from this recent episode was my own ability to feel embarrassed of my usually-angelic son – how is that even possible? Perhaps it was pure naivety to think there is nothing Lucas could possibly do to provoke a feeling of shame in me, but up until this point in time I honestly believed embarrassment was something reserved for the behaviour of my parents & not something I would ever feel about my butter wouldn’t melt baby boy. The harsh reality is of course that every child has a tantrum or two in them and as parents we need to go a little easy on ourselves and realise whilst you could be doing the best job you can, the combination of hundreds of possibilities from teething to colds to lack of sleep for our little ones can turn even the best behaved tyke into a nightmare child who is temporarily unrecognisable to you.
Having said that, it could just be that all important lack of discipline 😉
Who knows, but one thing I do know for sure is that after the trauma of tantrum number one I shan’t be frequenting the scene of the crime for quite some time…off to Google parks in Barcelona…